So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
