one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
