At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
