? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
