He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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