I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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