...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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