I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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