Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
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The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
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Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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