Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Do vagina's smell?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Randomize
