I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
