I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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