can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
