I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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