Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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