i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
