Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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