I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
