Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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