Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
