I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
