Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
