My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
