Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
