Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize