Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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