I cannot find my penis.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she peed on how many people?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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