Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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