So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
