You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I think people are normalizing furries
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
