Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
