Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
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