i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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