I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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