This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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