That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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