Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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