i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
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