It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
