Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
