ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I said "one day" and that day is not today
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
