His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
