Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
