It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize