quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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