I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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