i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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