Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
