so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
