i was born a porn star she said
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
