Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
