didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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