i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
