brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
