Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
