hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
