P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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