i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize