If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
