I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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