I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
