sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
