I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
