My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Your tits are I can't wait for
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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