Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
