There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
