He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
