I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
